Those Pre-Wedding Jitters: Stay or Run?

You wake up in a cold sweat, your nerves are jangling and you feel slightly nauseas. It’s two weeks before your big day and terrifying thoughts are rushing through your head: Is s/he the right person to spend the rest of your life with? Will you be able to live with all their funny quirks, pets, habits, wardrobe etc? What if you find out that you’ve made the mistake of your life after the wedding?

All of these thoughts are very normal for engaged couples. In fact it’s known by many names: Cold Feet, Pre-Wedding jitters etc. It is normal for you to be nervous about the biggest commitment that you’ll probably make in your life. This commitment will affect the rest of your life on a daily basis.

There are a few things that will indicate to you whether you’re suffering from real cold feet, or something more serious – the need to leave. When you’re concerned about things in the relationship that can be fixed with love, understanding and compromise, you’re probably on the safe side. Remember that a relationship is a two-way street. Your spouse-to-be will probably have the same thoughts and questions. You need to have empathy with each other and tackle your doubts and insecurities together and work through them as a couple – just like you would do when you’re married.

If, however, there are things that won’t be fixed (any kind of abuse, drug or alcohol abuse, betrayal, sexual orientation changes etc.) then you know that this boat will sink before it leaves the harbour. In these circumstances you should seriously think about bowing out of the engagement and wedding. None of these things will be good for you and you definitely deserve the best.

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